Weird Confusion Syndrome

(PS:- this is a totally ranting post I am myself confused of what I have written, read at ur own risk lols)

Ha… now day’s m so fully confused. I ve gone through phases where I ve been very very happy, also I ve gone those the tense and bad phase too, but at this point of time in my life it is totally different situation I am both happy and worried it is kinda of a mixed feel. I wonder should I be happy for things which are making happy or should I worry and feel tense for things which are making me sad. Oh I wish I could sit with someone and talk it out (m gonna talk to my friend , was hesitating to talk about this to her and confuse her too). I have also written about this weird confused syndrome at the end of my previous post too I guess.

This is also a time m dreaming a lot I want to do the CA course. With all this confusion I am dreaming also, I dono its weird isn’t it. When doing my bachelors degree I was always fascinated by the Income Tax subject I also missed the distinction due to one mark lesser sigh. I am planning to apply soon for CA the toughest course as far as I have heard.

My childhood dream was to be an entrepreneur as of now to I wanna be an entrepreneur but u know I don’t wanna share the main core functions with anyone, I want to be the boss, as of now where I am working I am the boss but partially coz it’s the family business so major decisions cannot be taken alone and many more things, also being the boss in the family business has thought me many lessons how to deal with a business etc. So it will helped me for my future business when I am the sole decision maker and stuff so hopefully everything goes well I ll be able to set up mine by next year end, ‘being the boss’ needs a different post in itself. 

Ok I guess I have totally diverted form my “weird confusion syndrome” lols. This is what I wanna say in all these confusion moods of mine I wanna start something for which the base will start from now on wish me luck. The situation which is making me both happy and bad nothing can be done until the target is achieved, oh wish we can do it soon as soon as possible.

I know it is possible but will take some time. Once this thing will get over and when I will think of the times when I have felt tensed and happy, and all of these mixed emotions maybe I ll have a hearty laugh at myself. When I ll think of what we have achieved we ll be proud to announce to the whole world. The main people who are supporting me in this are my family,G s family and specially my Dad, thanks dad. There are few people who are jealousy of whatever we are doing but G and I are not bothered. Wish me luck people.

If u have read the post untill now then kudos to you for so much patience. I am still confused with my post hopefully u understood, but I feel relieved and feel light by unburdening myself. 

Tagged - Evergreen Memories

Ersa has tagged to list out some wonderful memories of my life so far and I love doing tags coz its lets me know more, you get it. This time I am late doing this tag was a caught up in the roller coaster ride of the life, but better late then never. This tag took me down the memory lane and I must thank Ersa for tagging me.

• My oldest memory was when I was 8 or 9, we were a group of ten cousins all in the age group of 8 to 12 I guess every weekend we would turn the house (it was a joint family back then, that’s why so many cousins together) into a playground scream, shout, run around blah blah blah.... and the elders at home couldn’t even take a nap in the noon, we used to have soooo much fun superb days. Oh those days were fun I miss those days. Also I cherish all the time we used to have in our annual trips to Mysore and my maternal grandparents house.

• The sports days is school also was fun. Ours being a all gals school the sports day would be the ideal day to meet guys from other school and also boy friends of friends. I remember how gals would pull up their skirts above there knees and whatever, also try to look smarter. It was fun, those innocent days.

• Summer holidays were the best days, when we cousins were in teens we no longer stayed in the joint family everybody had moved to different parts of Bangalore, so we d meet in one of my aunts place and it was totally different fun then the fun we used to have when were still kids, sigh!!!! 

• The chatting sessions with close cousins or close friends which I will always cherish. We could talk anything on the earth from school to books to boys to s@# to anything all these during those discovering phase.

• My degree days they were the bestest , that was the time I met G also I was in a wonderful institution and great friends, I couldn’t ask for more than anything.

• My masters was a totally different experience and one of my best relationship was found there, that is my best friend .

• Oh there are many many evergreen memories which I have already written here and here  and many more wouldn’t wanna repeat it again and also have no patience to link the other posts .

Anyone who hasn’t done this done and wants to do it can take up the tag.

WHY why why????

(PS:- warning :) dont read this post if u to are in a cranky mood.)

Why don’t people understand, they only expect others to understand them, why?

Why do some people talk non-stop nonsense?

Why do some people’s main aim is underestimating others?

Why do some people go on giving advises, when we don’t need any?

Why are some people so irritating?

Why people go on asking us when we are gonna have a baby, and it’s already 2years n still we haven’t planned a baby, why? (Its very personal thing ya, why do others wanna to know when we are having a baby, when we decide on that /when I am expecting I ll announce the whole world coz I ll be the happiest, until then please leave us alone :-D(evil grin))

Why to people going advising to go to that doc, this doc, allopathy , ayurvedic oh I am bugged, why don’t u leave us alone.

(It really hurts when actually a couple are trying to conceive and they get these silly questions and advises)

Oh right now my situation is I am cranky, irritated and also little happy coz of few things happening at home front, mixed feelings , I am all confused , I dono why? maybe I am pmsing ;).

Where is/was my ME TIME????

Lot of things are happening on work n home front, in the hustle and bustle of my life I totally have no ‘my’ time. The most precious ‘ME’ time is very much necessary for my existence and I have already written here. There is so much work at both home and business that there are times I am bogged down by soooo much work. Work which is fine most of the time, but the stress which is apart of the work is what I don’t want, but I guess there is no choice.

While I was blog hopping I read about ‘me’ time. In that blog the author of that blog had written that her “‘me’ time is when she is brushing, taking a shower, a walk, when she is cooking. Any time she is not at work or studying is ‘me’ time.” I donno for me ‘ME’ time is when I am just sitting and relaxing having fresh hot filter coffee, when I sit in my balcony and watch the hills, when I am blogging etc.

To be frank I don’t have the time to think about me or anything when I am brushing, shower etc. Talking about me time when I am cooking, I first have to decide what for breakfast then lunch and its such a task I must say, so where is the time to think about me. when its walk time (yeh I ll definitely think about me, and take it as a me time when I go alone for my early morning walks which was long back sigh!)

Anyways talking about me time and the lack of it now days made me go crazy, cranky and frustrated like Ersa. So today I took off from work , got up late had nice filter coffee, had a light breakfast , after G left for work , I relaxed for sometime. Then I whipped up a nice and yet a simple meal with a great mango dessert to finish off. Had lunch and slept for a long time. With so much relaxation my mind started working lols and hence this post…so tell me people what or when is ur ME TIME, would love to know.

Hmmmm......

No na I don’t wanna give the usual excuses for not blogging, but the fact is the usual excuses work, travel, lot of guests coming home we living in the tourist place and this time of the year being a holiday, we are playing the host ufff.. but it’s nice I being a peoples person I am loving it, but at times its becomes stressful… also one more reason for not blogging was me being unwell.

I have drafted so many posts, some are in my home computer, some at office comp and some in my laptop, I need to post those first. When I am free I just feel like sitting and relaxing. Hopefully will post those drafted posts soon and also will blog regularly.

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On a different note I traveled from Mysore to Srirangapatna , to Shivansamudra to Srirangam to see the three Rangas in a single day (its said that its very auspicious to see all the three Rangas in a single day). It was an achievement I must say to travel all the way in this heat but we did it and I was unwell again, I am sooo weak/sensitive I donno :).Anyways it was one good trip.

Tagged, 25 things about me

This is my 1st ever tag, Ersa tagged me and I am all excited to do this tag.

1. I am a very very optimistic person, even when something is seriously wrong I ll still be hoping that things will go right again. Sometimes it’s too much but I am optimistic so I don’t want to change.

2. I love cooking and especially for the immediate family like my parents, bro, hub, in-laws ….I am a very family oriented person cannot be far away from my immediate family also I prefer staying in joint family without disturbing others freedom and privacy.

3. I love the Mysore flower market, its so much full of life, color and enthusiasm, I just feel so nice there.

4. I enjoy talking/gossiping with my friends and family, its de-stressing activity.

5. I am afraid of lizards and cockroaches.

6. I don’t like dogs and cats, a strict no no pets for me.

7. I like to get up early in the morning see the sunrise, the birds chirping and the misty hills/mist covered hills(which I can see from our home balcony).                                        (Edited to add - its not misty mountians its hills)

8. I like typical south Indian style filter coffee and the aroma of fresh coffee early mornings.

9. Blogging is one more de-stressing activity which I like doing.

10. I am a pure vegetarian.

11. I am scared of flying so I try and avoid travel where the choice/option is only flight.

12. I love my city Bangalore, I just love it with all its negatives and positives I am a “FOREVER BANGLOREAN”. I keep traveling to Bangalore on and off when ever I get the time.

13. I am a typical Sagittarian, I love and respect my freedom and space in any relationship. For me space is a very important part of any relationship.

14. I like moms cooking (I know everyone will like their moms cooking), for me even she when she hasn’t cooked well (which happens very rarely) its tastes very nice while others are complaining, I enjoy the food.

15. I can talk on phone hours together, I had thought it was just a phase but no for it’s a never ending phase.

16. I want to have a baby soon.

17. When I was in the US, I was missing my parents, bro and the whole extend family, but the most I missed was Namma Bengaluru, I have fought with people who ever spoke against India or Bangalore (u can check few of my blog posts).

18. My best friend is Ramya though I met her during my masters, I feel I ve know her from ages.

19. I like Chinese, Mexican, Italian food but the best is Indian for me.

20. I am not able to learn driving a four wheeler, this May will be the last attempt to learn it.

21. I am a very good listener.

22. I love playing the role of a agony aunt, every time I do this and when they tell me how lighter and unburdened they are feeling. It’s like a reward for me for listening, understanding and advising them.

23. I love the long drives with G, sometime we are just so quiet, and sometimes we just talk and talk and talk. I love those drives on rainy days more.

24. I love going to temples, coz I just feel so relaxed there, I am not at all bothered about the rush there; I just concentrate on God and Veda chanting it is so soothing.

25. I love dancing, and I dance especially when I am very happy about something.

I thoroughly enjoyed doing this tag;I would love to tag everyone who reads my space and havent done this tag!

I need some TIPS

I am undergoing a medical treatment for some health reasons. The doc has told me that physical problem can be cured with medicines but the psychological problem that has to be cured by just me and just myself. 

The psychological problem is the main hindrance for my health to improve, says the doc. The problem is I am soooo involved in my work and stressed all time, I worry for silly things. I handle finance mainly and I ve realized it’s the most stressful part of a business coz it’s the main part of any business. I am stressed out more during the beginning of the month due to monthly taxes, salaries etc etc uffff.

Mr Doc has told me that unless I de-stress myself and relax medicines wont work, coz mentally I should be stress free for medicines too work. I am doing all possible from meditation to yoga to walking (some I still need to start, and I don’t continue, I keep taking breaks) and trying to be happy and cheerful … I donno what else I can do too de-stress myself, so any tips you are welcome .